Oh, thank you, thank you ever so much. I'm so happy. Thank you. I have a television, so I'm going to spend some time here to tell you some things. And sir [speaking to music conductor Bill Conti], you're doing a great job, but you're so quick with that stick. So why don't you sit, 'cause I may never be here again.
I would like to start with telling you all how amazing the experience of feeling the sisterhood of being included in a group with Joan Allen and Juliette Binoche and Laura Linney and Ellen Burstyn for these last weeks has been. It's just felt like such a triumph to me to be in that list. My name starts with "R" so I'm always last, but I still love the list. But I can't believe this, this is so [looking at the Oscar]... this is quite pretty.
I want to acknowledge so many people that made "Erin Brockovich," "Erin Brockovich" -- but let me make my dress pretty [adjusts the train of her dress]. Universal, everybody at Universal, Kevin Misher and Stacey Snider and Stacey Sher -- and I can't believe I'm remembering everybody's name. Jersey Films, Danny DeVito, and everybody over there. Everyone I've ever met in my life. This movie was sinfully fun to make, and Albert Finney is my friend and my pleasure to act with. And Aaron Eckhart and Scotty and Gemmenne and Brittany and Ashley, all the wonderful actors that played my children. And Marg Helgenberger -- and turn that clock off, it's making me nervous. Greg Jacobs, everybody on our crew that was so great. And, well, just a few other people... But really, the main person -- well, Richard LaGravenese and Susannah Grant who wrote such a nice script.
Steven Soderbergh -- hi, there you are -- you truly just made me want to be the best actor that I suppose I never knew I could be, or aspire to. And I made every attempt -- Stick-man, I see you. So I thank you for really making me feel so... [laughs!] I love it up here! Yeah, anyway, I start working for him again in two days, so I can get to you later. But Benjamin Bratt, my sister Lisa, my brother-in-law Tony. Elaine Goldsmith-Thomas, who's been my agent since God was a boy. Jeff Berg. My mom! And just Frances* and Marcus and Mike and everybody who's watching at home. Kelly, Emma, everybody. I love the world! I'm so happy! Thank you!
[Ed. note: Academy Awards show producer Gil Cates promised a giant, high-definition flat-screen digital television to the winner(s) who made the shortest acceptance speech.] [*Spelling not confirmed.]